I have realized that I need to write about my life. Writing is the only way that I can make sense of most of the tangle of stuff that just comes at me on an everyday basis. Most of the time I’m a glorious web of confusion- a bunch of sights and sounds and smells and people all smushing into each other and fusing together. In my head, that’s a very pretty sight. Did you know that the only way you can learn is by actually changing the structure of your brain? Your very neural connections change- certain synaptic junctions are strengthened and certain ones are allowed to disintegrate and be lost. This isn’t something you can really help, but it’s an idea which fascinates me. We are literally changing all the time. It isn’t even something we can help. I wish I could be more eloquent about this and explain it in a more academic way, but clearly that isn’t happening. The point is, that who I am right now is not who I was yesterday or possibly even an hour ago. I simultaneously like this idea and am terrified of it. I like the idea of never growing stale, always a fresh start- sort of. But the thought of actually losing the person I used to be is borderline nightmarish. Turns out, I know myself even less than I thought. Psychology courses will do this to you. One day when I’m all grown up I’ll be doing something with neuropsychology.
I have decided to revive this blog. The very reason I started it was because I wanted a fresh start and a place to write where people don’t actually know me. I can write what I want and I don’t have to be paranoid about anything. I quite like this theme. It reminds me of Mark Haddon’s ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time’, which was a book I didn’t like all that much.
I will now proceed to post menny posts, verymenny of them. Mwahaha