I feel so horri…

I feel so horribly unaccomplished and lazy and just – ashamed of even existing and not doing the things i should be doing, because i’m that fucking lazy that i just don’t feel like it. the closer i come to you, and the more i see of people, the more i despise myself. maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the nip in the air that never quite leaves me, maybe this self loathing, this dark, black, sticky, splotchy thing will never, ever, ever go away.

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