Things I will do

  • i will get a job
  • i will stop wondering if you really do love me, and if i’m completely wasting my time, and letting my anxieties and insecurities invade everything and eat up my brains and give me ulcers.
  • i will file my own taxes
  • i will apply for scholarships
  • i will cook things and eat them, and not have to grimace and force them down
  • i will apply to lots of places, everywhere, and get it this coming season
  • i will be happy
  • i will call the gramps more often
  • i will be more civil, more kind to my family
  • i will learn kickboxing
  • i will meditate
  • i will not procrastinate. i will do what i need to, when i should.
  • i will stop feeling so goddamn isolated and lonely, and propagating it (willfully that too)
  • i will find 3 good things about myself and cultivate them
  • i will be a good friend
  • i will be a good sister
  • i will be a good daughter, grand daughter
  • i will give my creativity room to breathe, and indulge in productive expression
  • i will start taking pictures and chronicling the beauty i find even here
  • i will practice gratefulness for having the life that i do, everyday
  • i will give all the exams i’m supposed to this semester without having a nervous breakdown
  • i will be organized and actually use my planner
  • i will bake myself a birthday cake
  • i will sleep a healthy amount
  • i will read 10 more books by the end of this year
  • i will answer emails on time
  • i will stop putting things off from lethargy (then proceed to feel like shit about myself because i’m not doing anything because i put it off because i was lethargic because i feel like shit about myself because..)
  • i will stop dropping friends like they’re hot whenever it strikes my fancy
  • i will get my voice back
  • i will contribute something positive to society
  • i will feel good about the way i look, not through delusion, but by conscious effort and acceptance
  • i will stop whining and start fixing things
  • i will print out pictures of all the new us’s and put them up
  • i will sort through my clothes and declutter
  • i will make use of the blue wool
  • i will figure out a way to find my calm without frantically calling up whomever i happen to be feeling manically close to atm
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