It is extremely wearisome having an addictive personality. There is no balance- either I’m depressed or I’m euphoric. There is no middle path- I would be the worst Buddhist in the world. It’s the same with things and people. I love something, someone and I obsess over it, and fixate, and have em on loop in my brain until finally I wear myself out and get bored. It’s exhausting. And I end up sick and tired of people for no fault of their own. It’s a twisted cycle, this. And horribly unproductive. I’ve GOT to figure out a way to stop.