I do not know what lies ahead, but this is getting me nowhere. I refuse to whimper any longer, I refuse to let the energy drain out of me slowly drip-drip-drip. getting bogged down is doing me no favours, nor is it helping resolve the situation. Here’s what I plan to do instead:
– move house to Cambridge. move in with strangers i’ve never met before. change of scene is welcome, and much needed. i cannot deal with even the slightest bit of negativity any longer.
– immerse myself in work and fully understand as much literature is out there on mesenchymal stem cells.
– do kickass work at the lab, starting with the presentation and make headway with proving that i do belong there, and garnering respect.
– work out. you know what’s less lame than just being sad? someone really, really hot being sad. if i’m going to be sad, i propose to have a fantastic ass while i’m at it.
– dress nice. take care of myself. moisturize, line, medicate, brush- the works.
-take every chance i can to explore boston-cambridge. chill at the cafes, visit the galleries.
– talk to people. be open and warm. make connections. avoid withdrawing.
– read. read read read read read.
– write and express myself
– call home and avoid taking out frustration on the family.
– let my friends be there for me.
– find the reservoir of calm within myself.
– scour tattoo shops and come up with the perfect design.
– find a permanent place to live at while i’m in boston.
– stop waiting. stop virtual-stalking. stop putting life on hold.
– blank out the blues. keep busy and productive. if things come to a head, let them. accept that i’ve done all i could have humanly done. stay friends if it doesn’t mean waiting, but comfort or support instead. stop reaching out in futile hope.
– keep the faith. life has many adventures ahead, and many surprises more to throw my way. last year this time could have been tagged with ‘little did i know’. well, that will happen again. keep faith in the ‘little did i know’.