Everyone’s a Winner

When I stepped out into the snow this morning, my life was like a scene straight out of Frances Ha.

To recap, one of my close friends/gray area pseudo boyfriend type person has just cut me out of his life, this decision seeming to cause him remarkably little anguish, him of the little attachment. Me of the quite great attachments, it causes me great angst. Today is his birthday, there’s a party and of course I’m not invited. My roommate let me know with an “I love you darling, I’m sorry”, last night.

Then I had a stupid fight with the boyfriend late last night while working on the thesis project (which I have made zero headway on), which spilled over into the morning.

I woke up shivering, because the heater in our house is broken. And this being the middle of April and Spring, we all woke up to a pile of snow in the front yard and said collective, “What the FUCK, Canada?!”s.

Then I ran out to catch my bus in ballet flats and without gloves since I’ve packed away all my winter stuff.

But you know what? I’ve since been drinking a large coffee and listening to “You shook me all night long” on repeat. And I’m feeling better. It is impossible to be unhappy to this song. Scientific fact.


Boston Chronicles 1.0

So life in Boston has settled into its own easy pace. Cambridge is being kind to me for now. Every day brings with it some sort of new discovery. Now if only I could find more permanent, affordable housing, everything would be perfect.

The hobo, contrary to all expectations remains in my life six months in. Less pressure with more effort seems to sum up the whole scene, as A. said. It seems contradictory, but makes more sense. I get to keep my sanity, and flirt with cute bostonboys? Yes please.

Friday: After a pretty unproductive day at the lab, I was supposed to go out with a new friend from the lab and two of her friends for a girl’s night that promised to be wild. Her friends decided to bail on her however (blasted flu), and so I decided to rescue the night and have a girl’s night with a completely different set of girls. I recruited J and P, and the four of us decided that it was Friday goddammit, and we were going to have some fun. After some mulling over possible places- drinks and good food without breaking the bank seems to be a tall order- we decided upon ‘Brown Sugar’. Token American aka the boss suggested Bon Chon but AH dismissed it as fast food, thoroughly upsetting him. So Brown Sugar it was, and we set out on the shuttle, clutching our coats, ushankas and scarves. We waited in the lobby for a good ten minutes, making eyes at the puffer fish, and violently coloured snaggle-tooths in their aquarium before we got a table. The food was excellent, and served in preposterous quantities. I ordered Fishman’s Madness which was basically an explosion of scallops, squid, shrimps, mussels, mushrooms and peppers in this delicious chilli-garlic gravy. I have discovered that I really dislike scallops- they remind me of the pork fat that hobo and company tricked me into eating, and taste like nothing but blandness and blobs. The texture itself puts me off. The squid was for some reason carved like pineapples, but the mussels were great. Post-dinner we dragged our Garfield like selves to this tiny Japanese place where I experienced the deliciousness of mochi for the first time. I liked it so much that on Saturday I walked for half an hour to Trader Joe’s to buy myself some, which sadly turned out to be nothing like the real deal. I now have a pack of mochi lying in the refrigerator, covered in flour , all gooey and gross.

Saturday was spent waking up late, frantically running to the dysfunctional T and reaching Boston Commons nearly an hour late for my ice-skating date with the labmates. The weather was unexpectedly warm and sunny, the speakers at Frog Pond played old 90’s music, and we spent a good three hours there. Now this was my very first time on the ice and considering that I can’t even walk in a straight line, ice skating was really… interesting. My labmates were super patient though, and the scene wound up being something like one at each side, holding my hand while the third skated behind us. Every time I would wobble, the three would zoom up and huddle around me. By the end of the day, we’d all become a lot more physically intimate than we would have expected. Good first date, I’d imagine.

So after ice skating we grabbed footlongs at Subway and then I ran to Vanderbilt Hall at Harvard for choir practice. I got roped into it by AH from lab. Here’s how it happened: Hey, you should come see my acapella group. It’s gonna be a shitshow, but it’ll be fun. Hey, what’s your range like? Hey, you should do liptorrals and sirens. Hey, you’re a soprano. Great, our group needs help.

And so I’m singing ‘Fields of Gold’ in harmony with the Harvard Heartbeats at their cadaver memorial on this Wednesday. What’s a cadaver memorial, you ask? Well, people donate their bodies to science, see? And this Wednesday the families of those dead bodies along with all of Harvard Med School are going to come to this program at Harvard and watch me sing a solo, and harmonize with 5 other girls (it’s going to be a complete shitshow, since very few of them can actually sing and we’re getting roughly one and a half rehearsals in before the show). Random, but it’s a thing.

The other highlight of Saturday was the walk to Trader Joe’s where I bought Green Tea mochi, a pack of three dark chocolates imported from Belgium, and Trader Joe’s own smooth peanut butter cups made of dark chocolate (Dear Reese’s, nothing compares to you). Came home to find a note on the fridge from the second roomie saying, “Help yourself to banana cake if you like”, which I obviously did, and boy was it delicious- full of pecans and almonds and chocolate chip and dusted sugar. 

Sunday has been pretty useless, in a not so terrible way. Woke up late, stayed home, talked to the hobo, and made my new year’s list which I hadn’t all this while because I’d started off the year completely miserable. I also read ’50 shades of grey’ which a friend sent me the ebook of, and it was completely fucking awful, like I knew it would be. So recommendations for good literary erotica are welcome. What, didn’t you know that this was an adult blog?

What I hope to do with the rest of my evening: shower, laundry, read papers and come up with a list of relevant questions, finish the new year list.

Other highlights of the week include visit to Rodney’s Bookstore where the guy at the counter, who is writing a book and draws comics for an indie newspaper, directed me to the underground music scene and gave me recommendations on where to live (Allston, baby!). Also lunch at cafe Au Bon Pain, where Robin Williams and whatsizname played chess in ‘Good Will Hunting’. Lunch consisted of rain and a salmon-wasabi bagel which was both delicioso and affordable. Trek to Somerville to look at a potential house which turned out to be completely unsuitable. Trek to Inman Square where I discovered the Bukoswki pub which I definitely intend to visit. Also multiple visits to Flour which is close to work, has hipster baristas, and  the most beautiful lamb sandwiches- gigantic, fresh and dripping with cranberry sauce.

In other news: I bought a guitar, and I’m getting a tatoo in March which is when T comes to visit. Life is definitely having a ‘What R did’ moment right now.

Sometimes you don’t need anything or anyone else to be happy. Sometimes happiness has nothing to do with your future prospects, or the boy in your head, or those nights out you had. Sometimes happiness is just you walking home alone in the dark, with a warm apple cider in your hands and music in your ears at the end of an exhausting week. It’s the feeling that makes your heart skip for no reason at all as you step through piles of fall leaves, and feel the tip of your nose grow cold, as you breathe in the crisp cool air, and feel your cheeks get flushed. Sometimes happiness is just walking, tipping your head back to get the last few drops of your sweet sticky drink, and finding yourself looking up at a blue velvet sky full of stars. Sometimes happiness is deciding on a whim to walk around town and find that brilliant shawarma place you went to once, because you finally have time to waste, and because your legs want to keep moving.

Sometimes all you need to be happy is yourself. These times don’t come very often, but when they do, you think to yourself that this moment right here, is what I’ll remember about this term. You try to pin down content, but you don’t really, because contentment is when you feel like you’re floating high up there with the stars, like you’re enough. 


It’s really hard to study or get any work done when the weather’s as gloomy as this. Woke up at 9 o clock with the outside looking like it was 6:30 in the evening. It is now 1:25 in the afternoon and nothing’s changed. Sigh.

I went out runn…

I went out running today. Came back home from Zoology lab pretty tired, and thinking about the ever present to-do list that looms over my head. I stepped out of the bus, and suddenly it was just this beautiful weather. Canada’s been pretty grumpy and cold lately, like a cantankerous old man. Today was what you’d expect fall to be. I willed myself to walk home and in the two minutes it took me to walk from the bus stop to my building, I suddenly decided, fuck it. Fuck the work. It’ll be there for a bit now. I need to sleep early, and I need to go over things for the umpteenth time and meet a deadline, but the gorgeous weather. It was just calling out to my feet, and the song on my old purple mp3 matched the feeling in my feet, and it had been ages since they’d done any running. I climbed up the stairs, dropped my stuff, shed my jacket, grabbed my keys, and ran out. I ran for something like 45 minutes. Blissful blanking out. Went into territory I hadn’t seen before. There’s a Sugarbush Park around Weber Street. There are red, red leaves on the way. Reminded me a little of Guelph. The stray annoyances from my day wandered into my head, but for the most part my footsteps chased them away.

I came home panting, red faced, with aching legs, and happy.

My feet are col…

My feet are cold. My toes are perpetually cold these days 😦 It’s the middle of September, people. It’s still supposed to be shorts-weather! Outrage. Just utter and total outrage. The Great White North could not give any less of a shit about our collective outrage if it tried.


Pre-Fall Shopping List (to get me through the year)

Fall may be just about the dressiest season with all them layers and cardigans. Summer basically means maximum exposure and bright colours. Winter is cowering underneath coats and scarves and boots. But Fall- Fall means dressing UP 🙂

Stuff I picked and chose from across the net:

Always in Season

  • Black tank.

    A white tank has its place—at the gym or on casual outings—but a black one is more universal. Dress it up with dark jeans or a skirt.

  • Short-sleeved white T-shirt.

    White tees become unwearable quickly, so skip the costly designer versions and buy a bunch of good-looking inexpensive ones. Then replace as needed.

  • Short-sleeved black T-shirt.

    The best short-sleeve length is about 1/2 to 1 inch longer than a typical cap sleeve—it shows just the right amount of arm.

  • Long-sleeved white T-shirt.

    For a trim silhouette in white, choose a slim-fit T-shirt that skims your body but doesn’t cling.

  • Long-sleeved black T-shirt.

    A surprisingly sophisticated layering piece, this works well under a dress shirt—or even a dress.

  • Black turtleneck.

    Consider investing in cashmere: You get more warmth with less bulk.

  • White button-down shirt (one cotton, one silky).

    Fitted ones will get the most wear: They’re easier to tuck in and look neat when left out.

  • Crisp white blouse.

    Softer looking than a button-down, a white blouse is a timeless addition to any wardrobe.

  • Crewneck sweater.

    Thin knits, in cotton or wool, layer easily for versatility and comfort.

  • Cardigan.

    A neutral shade goes with everything, and a longer style that hits at the hip flatters most figures.

  • A black dress.

    The “little black dress” is a cliche for a reason: It’s a wardrobe necessity.

  • Pencil skirt.

    This classic piece should be tailored so it grazes the tops of the knees.

  • Jeans.

    It’s worth paying extra for jeans that fit and flatter. Your best bet? A dark, bootcut pair made from stretch denim with no more than 2 percent Lycra. (The fabric will follow your curves while keeping its shape.)

  • Black pants.

    To get the most from this wardrobe staple, select a style made of an all-season fabric, like tropical wool or viscose.

  • Skinny jeans.

    Once considered a trend, they are now a denim staple. Skinny jeans look best when they don’t fit too snugly at the waist.

  • Khaki pants.

    For a casual, comfortable look, forget the pleats (a flat front is more flattering) and forgo the front crease.

  • Denim jacket.

    A dark wash and a slim fit look the most polished.

  • Cropped jacket.

    Made famous by Coco Chanel, this item has become a fashion mainstay. You’ll have more opportunities for pairing with one in a solid color or traditional tweed.

  • Black cashmere wrap.

    A fabric that was once seen only in fall and winter has become a year-round regular.

  • Ballet flats (in a neutral or a versatile red).

    Equal parts sophisticated and practical, ballet flats, especially those with rubber soles, are easy on the feet but more polished than sneakers.

  • Basic black pumps.

    The workhorse of shoes, a good black pump can take you from day into evening without losing a step.

  • Metallic evening shoes.

    No shoes make you more party-ready than strappy sandals or pumps in a metallic tone. The surprise? Gold and silver are remarkably versatile.

Fall Basics

  • Cotton waffle robe.

    Perfect over pajamas or after a shower, this robe is far less bulky than its terry cloth cousin.

  • The tuxedo shirt.

    The ultimate day-to-night top, it has a crisp quality that makes it a great multitasker.

  • Fleece vest.

    Terrific over a turtleneck or peeking out from under a coat, a vest offers versatility in unpredictable autumn weather.

  • Athletic sweatshirt.

    As comfortable as a flannel pajama top—but appropriate for wearing in public.

  • Lightweight waterproof coat.

    Ideal for traveling, this practical item looks as right with a skirt as it does with a pair of jeans.

  • Khaki trench coat.

    Structured and stylish, it’s a true classic.

  • Leather blazer.

    A trim leather blazer brings a little sophisticated edge to any piece. Add a scarf and you’re ready to go anywhere.

  • Peacoat.

    No longer just navy blue, peacoats come in a range of colors and a variety of lengths.

  • Flat boots (black or brown).

    Knee-high styles work well with anything from full skirts and A-line dresses to narrow silhouettes.

  • Black heeled boots or booties.

    High-heeled boots are a fall-to-winter essential. Ankle-grazing booties fall somewhere on the daintiness scale between pumps and boots and make a stylish alternative to both.

Winter Basics

  • Heavy sweater.

    Look for a big, chunky knit that’s both comfortable and stylish.

  • Cashmere hoodie.

    More luxurious than the cotton variety, this layering piece is a sportier version of the cardigan.

  • Dark-wash jeans.

    A wardrobe standby in the cold winter months that’s available in a variety of cuts. Keep in mind that boot-cut and wide-leg styles work well over boots.

  • Pantsuit.

    Wear the jacket and pants together to show you mean business—or treat them like separates to maximize their use.

  • Gray flannel pants.

    These stylish standards look great with brown, navy, and black—and also with brights.

  • Wool trousers.

    Look for a lined pair in fine gabardine wool, made with a twill weave, which won’t feel too heavy.

  • Down vest.

    Works best in a neutral color like brown, black, or navy, so you can wear it with anything.

  • Black cashmere wrap coat.

    Whether calf or fingertip length, this elegant item will work for day or evening.

  • Winter coat.

    Fur-trimmed, down, or wool, a winter coat should offer enough room to accommodate a sweater or jacket.

Spring Basics

  • Cotton polo.

    More tailored than a T-shirt, it offers cool comfort on even the stickiest days.

  • Cotton blouse.

    An airy and attractive springtime fundamental.

  • Printed tops.

    A few boldly patterned pieces add life and color to spring basics.

  • Lightweight cashmere sweater.

    Single-ply cashmere offers comfort in over-air-conditioned offices and movie theaters.

  • Cotton button-up cardigan.

    Combines the softness of a sweatshirt with the elegance of a cashmere sweater.

  • Lightweight waterproof raincoat.

    Easy to carry as a guard against spring’s fickle skies, it blocks wind and rain without weighing you down.

  • One-button blazer.

    A cotton or lightweight-wool jacket is a pulled-together layer that can be removed when the temperature rises.

  • Inverted pleat skirt.

    As good looking with a tailored button-down shirt as it is with a tank top, it can be paired with a jacket for a more professional look.

  • Capri pants.

    These ankle-baring bottoms look great with ballet flats or strappy sandals.

  • Chinos.

    Comfortable cotton pants that are durable enough for a day in the park but still look proper in the office.

Summer Basics

  • Bathing suit.

    A well-fitting one- or two-piece in a go-anywhere color like black, white, or navy never goes out of style.

  • Convertible strapless bra.

    This adjustable undergarment looks smooth and natural under a strapless dress, tank top, or halter.

  • Cotton pajamas.

    A pretty patterned pair works as both loungewear and sleepwear.

  • Built-in bra tank.

    Offering coverage and support (and an end to visible bra straps), this tank can be worn to workouts or cookouts—and even to the office, under a jacket or sweater.

  • Ribbed cotton tank.

    Originally made for men, these shirts are now available in female-friendly shapes. Pick one that fits your figure—it works well alone or under a suit jacket.

  • Cotton blouse.

    Choose a lightweight top from a range of colors and a variety of prints.

  • Cotton printed dress.

    Stay comfortable even in heavy-duty humidity.

  • Strapless dress.

    A white one will show off a great tan, but black, navy, and camel also work beautifully.

  • Khaki shorts.

    The summer-wardrobe equivalent of air-conditioning, khaki shorts keep you cool, comfortable, and looking crisp.

  • Cotton drawstring pants.

    A good-quality pair will take you straight from yoga class to lunch with a friend.

  • White jeans.

    Available in a wide range of styles, white jeans look chic with almost any warm-weather top.

  • Flat leather sandals.

    A good pair of flat sandals will pair up with virtually anything from shorts to jeans to flowing skirts to bathing suits—and can even sub in for slippers, for minimal vacation packing.


So two exes bot…

So two exes both uncomfortably interlinked wanted to meet up on the same day at the same time. No to both? I think so. For different reasons though.

The heat continues its long drawn devious scheme to drive us all completely insane. They’ll be carting people to lunatic asylums by the truckload soon in Cal. Never thought I’d be missing Canadian weather, but 40 degree weather and 85% humidity does that to you. Got off work early today and decided on the spur of the moment to go to the Jain temple at Belgachia. Got off the metro, walked around in the heat and reached the damn place with my tongue hanging out like a dog’s, only to be told by the sleepy security guard inside the gates that the temple is only open on major holidays. Clearly, there is a lot to be said for planning vs spontaneity.

Someone committed suicide by jumping on the metro rail tracks AGAIN. This one was at Kalighat. We literally have one metro-suicide a week these days. It doesn’t seem like a great way to go to me. I mean, not only are you offing yourself, you’re causing about an hour’s delay and inviting the curses of thousands of people on your departed soul. 

45 minutes. I counted- 45 minutes is the time it takes to clear a dead body off the tracks and for life to continue like it doesn’t matter a whit. You are merely a replacable cog for the most part. Harsh but true.